Christmas Carols a la Harry Potter
by HorcruxesandHallows
Summary: Christmas Carols with Harry Potter themes.
1. Chapter 1

_**Carol Number One: The Twelve Days of Christmas**_

* * *

><p>On the first day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the second day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the third day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the fourth day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the fifth day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the sixth day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the seventh day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Seven Horcruxes,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the eight day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Eight DADA Teachers,

Seven Horcruxes,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the ninth day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Nine Wooden Stakes,

Eight DADA Teachers,

Seven Horcruxes,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the tenth day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Ten Words in Parseltongue,

Nine Wooden Stakes,

Eight DADA Teachers,

Seven Horcruxes,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the eleventh day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Eleven Puking Pastilles,

Ten Words in Parseltongue,

Nine Wooden Stakes,

Eight DADA Teachers,

Seven Horcruxes,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p>On the twelth day of Christmas,<p>

My true love gave to me,

Twelve Grimmauld Place,

Eleven Puking Pastilles,

Ten Words in Parseltongue,

Nine Wooden Stakes,

Eight DADA Teachers,

Seven Horcruxes,

Six Weasley Brothers,

MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER!

Four Wizard Champions,

Three Deathly Hallows,

Two Clueless Muggles,

And A Goddess Named Joanne.

* * *

><p><em><strong>In case you're wondering, DADA stands for Defence Against the Dark Arts, with the Eight teachers being Quirrell, Lockhart, Lupin, Moody, Barty Crouch Jr, Umbridge, Snape and Carrow.<strong>_

_**Also, the nine stakes are for the nine Cullen vampires – Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward, Bella and Renesmee.**_

_**Please leave a review. Merry Christmas!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Carol Number Two: Away in a Manger**_

Away in a manger  
>No crib for a bed<br>So little Lord Voldy  
>Went to an orphanage instead<p>

His mother was crazy  
>And sadly she died<br>Then little Lord Voldy  
>Got messed up inside<p>

He swore very quickly  
>That Muggles were scum<br>And made it mission  
>To kill every one<p>

He hated all Mudbloods  
>In fact he hated all<br>Except darling Bella  
>His Belle of the Ball<p>

But still he was not happy  
>Cause Potter wouldn't die<br>His mother's love did save him  
>On her way to the sky<p>

But Voldy then returned and  
>Vowed to kill the Potter brat<br>He controlled his mind and

Thought that would be that

Lord Voldy succeeded  
>Or so he did think<br>For Potter was clever  
>Lord V was hoodwinked<p>

With the help of the Hallows  
>With the Horcruxes all gone<br>Potter could return  
>And prove Voldy wrong<p>

Nagini was destroyed  
>By Neville Long-Bum<br>And that's when we're afraid  
>Lord Voldy was done<p>

Now all of the Horcruxes  
>They had been destroyed<br>Lord Voldy had to duel  
>The Potter boy<p>

When Potter shouted disarm  
>Lord V shouted kill<br>But Potter was triumphant  
>Therefore thought he was brill<p>

There was much celebration  
>The people were free<br>To live life as equals  
>Without Lord Voldy<p>

_**Please leave a review.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Carol Number Three: Jingle Bells**_

* * *

><p>Jingle Bells,<p>

Quirrell Smells,

Voldy's in his head.

Harry Came,

Said 'End of Game',

And now Quirrell is dead.

Hey!

* * *

><p>Jingle Bells,<p>

Lockhart's Spells,

Weren't they poor in taste?

He was not kind,

Then lost his mind,

And had to leave post-haste.

Hey!

* * *

><p>Lupin was a Were,<p>

Forgot his true man side.

Snape set out to stir,

Then Lupin had to hide.

* * *

><p>Moddy was a fake,<p>

He told them he was sane.

He's batty as a snake,

So a failed teacher again!

Hey!

* * *

><p>Jingle Bells,<p>

Jingle Bells,

Umbridge has a rant.

Rant, rant, rant,

Rant, rant, rant, rant,

Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant.

_RANT!_

* * *

><p>Jingle Bells,<p>

Sevvy Smells,

His hair is so greasy.

Refuses to wash,

He is too posh,

And he hates our dear Harry.

Hey!

* * *

><p>There have been so many,<p>

Defense teachers in the past.

Most were one short of a penny,

And lest they could not last.

* * *

><p>Harry sorted them all out,<p>

With the help of Romione.

He was sneaky, did not shout,

And charged no extra fee!

Hey!

* * *

><p>Jingle Bells,<p>

Padded Cells,

That's what they all need.

These Defense profs,

With brains so soft,

They aren't a lucky breed.

Hey!

* * *

><p>Jingle Bells,<p>

Don't do spells,

Take knitting up instead.

For health it's better,

Make a lovely sweater,

There'll be a bright future ahead!

* * *

><p><em><strong>As requested by ylletrojan and reppad98.<strong>_

_**Thanks go to ylletrojan, reppad98, InkWeaverabc, claire-whitmore, and skaterofthebooks for their reviews.**_

_**Now you may leave me some more! **_


	4. Chapter 5

_**What Harry Potter fic would be complete without a tad bit of Twilight bashing? Couldn't resist :)**__**  
><strong>__**For PurpleRose328, scabiorxxx, Inkweaverabc, jwtwifan, reppad98, and skaterofthebooks.**_**  
><strong>

Carol Number Five: Santa Claus is Coming to Town

_****_You better watch out,  
>You better go hide,<br>You better not shout,  
>I'm telling you why,<br>Edward Cullen's coming to town!

He's finding your address,  
>And checking it twice,<br>So he can break in,  
>As silent as mice.<br>Edward Cullen's coming to town!

He sees you when you're sleeping,  
>He likes to watch all night,<br>He watches as blood pumps through your veins,  
>Fantasising about a bite.<p>

Oh, you better watch out,  
>Find a dark cupboard to hide,<br>Eat some garlic, don't shout,  
>I'm telling you why,<br>Edward Cullen's coming to town!  
><em><br>**Merry Christmas!**_


	5. Chapter 6

_**Carol Number Six: Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer**_

Harry the Freakin' Potter,  
>Had an awesome lightning scar.<br>Everyone else was jealous,  
>And dear Voldy took it a bit too far.<p>

Voldy wanted to look real special,  
>Which is why he went and lost his nose,<br>But Harry's cool scar eclipsed him,  
>So, said Voldy, he must go.<p>

Then V tried to kill Harry,  
>He failed so many times.<br>After killing dear old Dumbles, he cried,  
>'The Elder Wand is mine!'<p>

But Voldy's a total failure,  
>He could never truly kill Harry,<br>Harry remained the Daddy,  
>And went down in History!<p>

_**Hope you all have a delightful Christmas!**_


End file.
